Hello friends, family, and strangers (I flatter myself)! I am a recently-graduated girl finding my way in the "real world" (apparently, I've been floating around the fake world for the past two decades). Many of my friends' "real world"s consist of cubicles, nine-to-fives, marriage, babies, and other such grown-up things. My real world looks a little different. Yes, I still get up and go to work every morning, same as they do. But instead of battling fax machines, computer programs, disgruntled spouses and dirty diapers, I arm myself against a legion of 14-year-old boys. Well, 83 of them to be exact. You see, I teach 8th-grade boys' Science in an inner-city, high-poverty school. What it is not: glamorous, prestigious, boring. What it is: humorous, heartbreaking, and the most challenging thing I will ever do.

The stories I tell and the people I describe are real; you can't make this stuff up. If you are new to my blog, I hope you'll start at the beginning and fall in love with its characters, just as I have.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Thanksgiving?

I am physically nauseated thinking about returning to school tomorrow. I'm not even HALFWAY through this year. How am I going to make it 'til June alive? The good news is that this job is going to make whichever one I have next (be it stocking shelves at Wal-Mart or cleaning septic tanks) sound like paradise.

I feel like a failure. I'm getting observed tomorrow, so TFA can witness my failure and tell me how my failing fails students who can't afford to be failed, so I need to focus on failing to fail in the future. I'm teaching Chemistry. I almost failed Chemistry myself in high school had it not been for a certain lab partner who pretty much re-did all my classwork on a daily basis. I hate Chemistry. I hate constantly feeling guilty because there's always SOMETHING else I could be doing. I hate how RMS smells when you walk through the doors. I hate being walked all over by 14 year olds. I hate the way I feel when I leave school. I hate disappointing people. I hate not living up to expectations.

Most of all, I hate feeling sorry for myself when I know there is much to be thankful for.
Posted by at

4 comments:

  1. ErNovember 29, 2009 at 6:45 PM

    I'm praying for you... call me if you need some encouragement...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stephanie CarolNovember 29, 2009 at 10:39 PM

    Well I might need to crash at your place again in couple weeks when I'm on my way to Virginia so maybe you can have that to be thankful for?

    Haha. I'm not exactly sure if hosting me really is anything to be excited about. Love you, girl.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousNovember 30, 2009 at 11:19 AM

    Love you Kiley, Suey's mom

    ReplyDelete
  4. GailNovember 30, 2009 at 12:49 PM

    so sorry you're feeling this way, but i know you're making a difference in those kids lives... whether you realize it or not! keep on keeping on! praying for you!

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)