Hello friends, family, and strangers (I flatter myself)! I am a recently-graduated girl finding my way in the "real world" (apparently, I've been floating around the fake world for the past two decades). Many of my friends' "real world"s consist of cubicles, nine-to-fives, marriage, babies, and other such grown-up things. My real world looks a little different. Yes, I still get up and go to work every morning, same as they do. But instead of battling fax machines, computer programs, disgruntled spouses and dirty diapers, I arm myself against a legion of 14-year-old boys. Well, 83 of them to be exact. You see, I teach 8th-grade boys' Science in an inner-city, high-poverty school. What it is not: glamorous, prestigious, boring. What it is: humorous, heartbreaking, and the most challenging thing I will ever do.

The stories I tell and the people I describe are real; you can't make this stuff up. If you are new to my blog, I hope you'll start at the beginning and fall in love with its characters, just as I have.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

pondering my maturity (or lack thereof)

I am pretty proud of myself today. I had a total of 20 extra boys dispersed amongst the two classes I taught, bringing my first block total to 36. Thirty-six 8th-grade boys. Boys with ISSUES. I had every chair in my room filled plus two guys standing in the back. It couldn't have been legal.

But you know what? I got through my lesson. I made most of them do their work. And stay in their desks.

This may not sound like much to you, but trust. It is monumental. I know they're just 13 and 14-year-olds, but they're not easily tamed. I walked around the front of that room feeling so empowered that they were doing right, for the most part. It was by no means perfect, and I didn't escape the day without getting highly irritated several times, but I also know that not many people could have retained the order that I did under such difficult circumstances. To God be the glory: He has taught me so much since last year! I know that I have grown in ways I never could have if I hadn't been at RMS.

After leaving my challenging day at work, I filed my taxes, paid my bills, cooked for my roommates and did some housecleaning. All pretty legit adult stuff, right? It got me thinking about my newly acquired grown-up status. I just turned 25. Twenty-five is responsible and mature and definitely grown-up...so tell my why I feel like I'm not much older than the kids I spend my day with. When will I stop...

tucking my legs underneath me in church and at my desk?
sprinting to my car when it's cold outside?
watching trashy TV like Gossip Girl and The Bachelor?
leaving random stuff in the pockets of every coat, sweater and jacket I own?
thinking flip cup is an acceptable way to pass the time?
sucking my thumb?

Just kidding about that last one. But I often wonder if I'll still feel this way when I'm 30, 40, 50, 60...a kid stuck in an aging body. All you readers over 40, what are your thoughts? Do you still feel like you never really grew up either? Or have you settled into your adulthood?
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4 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 8, 2011 at 7:31 PM

    Nope, still think I'm a kid too and why do all these people my age look and act so much older than me?

    ReplyDelete
  2. LyndseyPMarch 8, 2011 at 7:41 PM

    Oh Kiles, I loved this. I wish I felt as grown up as you...maybe it takes two years :) And I still need to file my taxes...haha.
    BUT I do also sprint to my car when it's cold. AND sit indian style in my seat. I don't ever plan on stopping. Way to go today!

    ReplyDelete
  3. SueMarch 9, 2011 at 10:50 AM

    Surely I don't have to answer that question. You know me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMarch 9, 2011 at 10:54 AM

    It will never change if you don't want it to. My MIL is in her 80's and tells me she still thinks she is 30. And she acts it also.

    ReplyDelete

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