Hello friends, family, and strangers (I flatter myself)! I am a recently-graduated girl finding my way in the "real world" (apparently, I've been floating around the fake world for the past two decades). Many of my friends' "real world"s consist of cubicles, nine-to-fives, marriage, babies, and other such grown-up things. My real world looks a little different. Yes, I still get up and go to work every morning, same as they do. But instead of battling fax machines, computer programs, disgruntled spouses and dirty diapers, I arm myself against a legion of 14-year-old boys. Well, 83 of them to be exact. You see, I teach 8th-grade boys' Science in an inner-city, high-poverty school. What it is not: glamorous, prestigious, boring. What it is: humorous, heartbreaking, and the most challenging thing I will ever do.

The stories I tell and the people I describe are real; you can't make this stuff up. If you are new to my blog, I hope you'll start at the beginning and fall in love with its characters, just as I have.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Insert Foot

I reaaallllly wanted them to know the four functions all life forms carry out. I really did. I made them repeat them several times, I made them write it down twice, then I had the brilliant idea to make them stand up and do a motion for each function.

Good thing I can think on my feet so well!!!

1. GROW! (we stretch our arms tall)
this is going quite nicely
2. RESPOND TO STIMULI! (we pretend to touch a hot stove and jerk our hand off)
damn i'm clever
3. ORGANIZED BY CELLS! (we pretend to neatly stack papers)
a stretch, but it works...
4. REPRODUCE!
oh shit....what have i done? no turning back now......

I stand uncomfortably still at the front of the classroom, praying I can quickly distract them. Twenty-eight pairs of eyes stare expectantly at me. They let a split second elapse...then proceed to enthusiastically hump the desks.

Kill me now.
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2 comments:

  1. callieApril 5, 2011 at 3:46 AM

    haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :) I love it!!
    Unfortunately, I think this is what my 4th graders would have done as well... very sexualised 9 year olds, their new favourite nickname is ____(insert name here)-Vagina (such as Nathan-Vagina). Does that even make sense?! No? I don't think so either...

    ReplyDelete
  2. ErApril 5, 2011 at 7:59 PM

    AHHH HILARIOUS!!

    ReplyDelete

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