club WACK

I introduced the cell yesterday. In an attempt to make taking beaucoup notes on beaucoup organelles more exciting, my entire lesson was built on comparing the cell to a club. I told them we were going on an illegal field trip; I was taking a bunch of underage kids to a nightclub. Naturally, they were excited (until they realized we weren't even leaving the classroom). I played the best current clubby song I could think of (not gonna lie, I like it too) and spastically flicked the lights on and off. Once I started dancing, it was over: "Mannnnn dis Club WACK!!"

Don't let them fool you. They loved it.

"The nucleus is like the club owner because it controls what goes on in the cell." We discuss what kind of club we'd create if we were an owner. "The mitochondria produce the cell's energy. What in a club provides the energy for the crowd?"

They think for a moment. "Awwww Ms. M I GOTCHU! IT'S DEM BIG-BOOTIED STRIPPERS!!"

Well I was going to say "the DJ" but that works just as well.

"The Endoplasmic Reticulum moves materials throughout the cell. What in the club gets people moving?"

"DAT GREY GOOSE!!"

"Nawww dat PATRON!"

"Mannn dat's dat HENNY!"

"Ms. M know all about dat! She be sippin' dat stuff on Fridays soon as she pull outta the parkin' lot! She be gettin' LOOSE after teachin' all these bad kids!"

They had me rolling by the end of class.

Then.

After lunch I told a group of four boys twice that we were leaving the lunchroom. Twice they ignored me.

"Okay, I'm not trying to wait on anyone, so let's put it this way: If you're not in my room by the time I shut my door, I'm calling security and writing you all up for being out of area."

They stared blankly at me. Ten minutes later they strolled through my door.

"Oh no. OH no." I said, handing them them their referrals. Armani (freshly back from boot camp) took his, ripped it up and threw it on the floor. I raised my eyebrows.

"FUCK this class. G'on and give me ten days and Imma tell you what Imma do for those ten days. Imma spend them smoking weed and planning my revenge. And at the end of those ten days--guess what? I'm coming back for you."

I looked up at him. "What do you need ten days for? No time like the present. Whatever it is you're thinking about doing, go ahead and do it now." He stared at me. "Yeah that's what I thought. You're not going to do anything. Get out."

"Where you want me to go?"

"When you walk out the front doors, take a right or a left on States; you can't go straight."

"Imma tell 'em you said I could leave."

"Tell them whatever the hell you want."

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!