The Wasteland

I have sat down several times to write this blog, then abandoned it in frustration.

Rashee. He is a favorite among my readers (aka my mom and dad), and I can easily see why. In writing, he is charismatic, hilarious and wildly entertaining. In real life, Rashee is...well, charismatic, hilarious and wildly entertaining. However, the child is a nightmare to teach and a terror to try to manage. Part of what makes him so funny is his tendency to push the limits; his inappropriateness and cocky attitude.

I haven't written about Rashee in a long time because he has not been at RMS for a long time. Let's back up to where I last left off--with him being suspended for 10 days and waiting on his hearing to decide whether or not he would return to our school.

Given Rashee's spotted history, I doubted that he would ever come back. He has already been given three 10-day suspensions this year; that kind of record isn't going to get you anywhere with a judge. I was surprised, then, to see Rashee show up randomly a couple of weeks ago. First block was over and he walked into my room, greeting his classmates with grins and high-fives. "Rashee!? What are you doing here?" He was dressed in his best "skinny" jeans and was wearing a light-yellow button-down underneath a navy blue sweater-vest. "You look nice."

Rashee puffed his chest out. "Yeah, 'bout to go to my hearin'. Ain't lookin' too good for me, M."

"Well...good luck," I said as he turned and headed out my door. "If I don't see you again...um...bye." I watched his faux-hawked silhouette exit my door, perhaps for the last time.

Or not. The next day, he was back, triumphant and even more cocky than before.

"Rashee? I thought that was it for you! She must've liked the sweater-vest."

"Yeah, I yes ma'am-ed and no ma'am-ed the hell outta that judge, and she said I was a 'respectful young boy' and needed a second chance!"

"Well, you're lucky," I said. "I was worried about you. I thought you were gone for good. I'm serious, Rashee, you've got to think before you act next time. PLEASE don't do anything stupid." As much as I dreaded keeping him under control for 75 minutes each day, the thought of him wasting away at some alternative school was far worse.

Two days. That's all it took for him to get suspended again. It took me a while to find out what happened this time, but apparently he acted a fool in Ms. G's class. When the ornery and overweight choir teacher commanded him to do something, he jumped up on a desk, grabbed himself and announced that "I run this bitch!"

Good decision. Ten more days and another hearing. He came back Friday because his suspension was over before the hearing took place. "RASHEE. Tell me how a smart boy like you does the most dumb-ass things I have EVER heard of??" I asked.

"What you talking 'bout, M?"

As if he had to ask. Third block he was awarded TEN MORE DAYS for almost starting a fight in the hall. What do you do with that? Seriously. What. Do. You. Do. With. That. I have no doubt that he will be gone for good now, and the whole thing is just sad. Hopeless and sad. I don't know much about his home life other than his father died. There is talk that his mom has a drug problem, but I don't really know if it's true or not. There's a lot I don't know--not just about him, but about all of my students. A lot of times I don't know why they act the way they do. I don't know why Rashee feels the need to act like he's stupid and hard and unfeeling. I don't know why he has to cry out for attention in a way that gets him in trouble, and I don't know why he can't seem to see a connect between his behavior and the consequences it affords him.

I don't see what goes on behind that devious smirk or that impervious facade. All I see is an incredibly smart, funny, clever and resourceful young man with a lifetime of bad decisions in front of him.

What a waste.