Ok, not a bad wreck. But a wreck bad enough for Mrs. Sally Dickins of Greenville, SC to file an insurance claim that will leave me with a sizable deductable, I'm sure.
The funny thing is, I've fantasized about having a wreck on the way to school several mornings. Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not suicidal (yet). I just like to act out in my head all the little scenarios that might prevent me from stepping over RMS's threshold and committing my day to chaos and anxiety. A little stream-of-consciousness to illustrate (just for you, Mrs. Hawkins):
Did I get everything at Harris Teeter for our density column lab? Got the syrup, vinegar, and food coloring--oh gosh did I remember to feed Buckley before I left? Food col--this is a terrible idea. The day will end and I'll be stuck cleaning up syrup from every surface. They'll get into the food coloring and dye everything blue and someone will without a doubt drink the apple cider vinegar on a dare...maybe I should change the lab...school starts in fifty minutes. Too late. Fifty minutes. Fifty minutes 'til my day starts. I wish the drive were longer...7:05?I'm never going to get the lab set up before 8:15! I wish the drive were shorter...Did I save the power point to my jump drive? Shoot! I forgot to print out my lesson plan to turn into Mr. E...so much for getting on his good side early on...Ok if I didn't save it to my jump drive I'll just put everything on the dry erase board and make do. Am I really talking about the lithosphere today? I didn't even know what that was until last night and I'm supposed to be teaching it? If the kids ask me any question outside of the paragraph I read, then I'm just going to have to tell them I have no clue. Or make something up. Oh! I did feed Buckley because I noticed there was only a little left in the bag--should've gotten some more at Harris Teeter...poor lonely Buckley...who am I kidding?! Poor me! He's probably still asleep. I wish I were still asleep. I wonder what would happen if I accidentally ran into that telephone pole? It would probably mess up my car pretty bad. I'd have to get it towed. That would definitely rule school out for the day. But then I'd have to pay for it to get fixed...A tornado would be better. Not one bad enough to kill me. Just, you know, mangle me bad enough to put me in the hospital for at least a few days. Insurance would probably cover everything. Yeah, tornado would probably be best. That or the swine flu. That way, I could miss school and people wouldn't even be mad at me! In fact, they'd feel sorry for me! They'd bring me soup! Surely the swine flu isn't that hard to contract when you work at a middle school...at least I have options...
As I was complaining to my mom that not only do I have a stressful and all-consuming job, but also an increasingly difficult life outside of work (what with money worries and licensing requirements and residency claiming...), she told me something I sort of already knew but definitely didn't want to hear: Welcome to the rest of your adult life.
Shoot.
Today at school was no better, no worse. All my classes are now mixed up and switched around, as we had to take on new students to relieve another team and even out our numbers in the process. The result is that I have all the same boys, but in different mixtures. Plus seven girls in 3rd block. I can't really tell yet, but I think this is how the rest of the year might look:
1st block: awesome.
2nd block: not so great.
3rd block: horrendous.
4th block: bad, but might have potential.
It should be interesting to watch the class with the girls. I'm glad I have a little more estrogen in the room now, but I can already tell those boys are going to spend most of the class trying to get the girls' attention.
My assistant principal came in and observed me 4th block. Luckily, he came in right when the whole class was screaming at each other to "SHUT UP!!!" He basically couldn't have chosen a worse moment (whatever. yes he could've.). He probably thinks I'm incapable. He's probably right. We have formal observations coming up. That means that the administration come in and basically grades us. If we're not where they want us to be, we get put on an improvement plan. Or fired.
I've got to stop being Negative Nancy. Here's the funny of the day. My kids have recently pointed out that the angrier I get, the more southern my voice becomes.
"Chill out, brah! She gettin' dat ALABAMA accent!"
"Ms. M, you know that when you get mad you get dat ALABAMA accent on!"
"Brah! She at like ninety five percent Alabama voice! You playin' too much! She fixin' to get all ALABAMA on yo ass!"
Apparently, my being passionate and southern have something to do with one another. Although I never considered myself much of either before coming here...
BAHAHAHAHA... my kids SAY THE SAME THING about my accent. The madder/more frustrated I get, the more southern I sound... they say, "aw shoot yall she gettin all country on us!" (They aren't supposed to talk in ebonics in school but whatever). It happens when I get really excited too... so weird. and mine's not even that thick!
ReplyDeleteHope your blocks get better :)