The OG is back, y'all.

I have taken a hiatus from blogging. First, I was in Paris (more on that once I get the pictures). Then, funny ish my kids said didn't seem so funny after my home state and precious college town were obliterated by a monster tornado.

Oh yeah, then Osama bin Laden got his face shot off.

I don't mean to gloss over any of the above, but I frankly don't want to write about any of it right now. Wednesday after the storms all I wanted to do was cry and praise Jesus for sparing my sisters and take all my bottled sentiments and put them on paper...

...but I didn't. So Alabama, just know I'm praying for you and that even though I'm going to go ahead and write about my funny little pipsqueaks like everything is normal, I haven't forgotten that your normal is splintered and strewn on the ground.

School is crazy right now. This week began the two week "blitz" before the kids take their state tests. The blitz is where we review like crazy and desperately try to cram testing strategies down our students' throats. Strangely enough, the teachers and the administration are the only ones stressing and out working hard during this critical time. The kids are acting like they're on a weekend trip to Panama City Beach. Last week I nearly got trampled in a stampede, Mufasa style. If you closed your eyes during class changes and let your nose and ears take in the senses, you might question if you'd been magically transported to an African tundra during a wildebeest feeding frenzy.

Yesterday, I opened my door to find one of my best students casually fondling a girl's breasts in the middle of the hall. "JE'COREY!!!!!"

"What?" He asked, unashamed.

"Are you SERIOUS right now!?!??"

I immediately went to Mr. E to tell him what I saw while Je'Corey bowed his head and chuckled to himself.

"Je'Corey. In the hall? Really?" Mr. E asked in a disgusted tone.

"Ms. M! Did you really just go snitch to Mr. E?"

I'm currently trying to stifle the laughter that's threatening to overcome me at any second. It's not that I'm still not incredibly horrified that my "precious" student is about to round second base in the hallways of a MIDDLE school, I just can't believe I'm really a part of this conversation.

Mr. E continues his fatherly lecture, but I can tell he's fighting a smirk as well. I narrow my eyes and nod my head emphatically as he speaks, all the while biting the inside of my cheek. "That's the problem with y'all," he says. "Y'all too FAST. I mean, you just gonna hang your business out like that in the hallway? Are you that horny?"

At this point, I lose it. Mr. E, encouraged, gains enthusiasm. "I mean, can you not wait until you get home?" Je'Corey is laughing with me. "Seriously, do you not have a TV or a computer to take care of those needs before you come to school?" Tears are streaming down my face and Je'Corey is protesting through red-faced snorts.

"Mr. E, STOP! Naw, man dat's gross!"

"Well you didn't think it was gross when you were juggling those titties in the HALL!"

OMG. Too much. Is this really happening at school? Am I really supposed to keep a straight face and act like an adult during this conversation? Because that's just not going to happen. I've learned that in some situations, you just have to throw in the towel and laugh. No use pretending you don't think something is funny just to be mature; the kids will see straight through it. Last year I had to laugh to keep from crying, and this year I've realized that that's the number one thing I enjoy about my job, so I might as well embrace it.

Dang it, I didn't even get to my other story, but it's bedtime. Maybe if every single one of you comments and tells me how much you missed my blogs and how you refreshed your page every five minutes to see if I'd updated and said a cuss word when I hadn't...I'll write about it tomorrow.