Hello friends, family, and strangers (I flatter myself)! I am a recently-graduated girl finding my way in the "real world" (apparently, I've been floating around the fake world for the past two decades). Many of my friends' "real world"s consist of cubicles, nine-to-fives, marriage, babies, and other such grown-up things. My real world looks a little different. Yes, I still get up and go to work every morning, same as they do. But instead of battling fax machines, computer programs, disgruntled spouses and dirty diapers, I arm myself against a legion of 14-year-old boys. Well, 83 of them to be exact. You see, I teach 8th-grade boys' Science in an inner-city, high-poverty school. What it is not: glamorous, prestigious, boring. What it is: humorous, heartbreaking, and the most challenging thing I will ever do.

The stories I tell and the people I describe are real; you can't make this stuff up. If you are new to my blog, I hope you'll start at the beginning and fall in love with its characters, just as I have.

Monday, February 14, 2011

happy v-day.

As in...

Vexing day?
Victim's day?
Vile day?
Villain's day?

I don't think I've ever felt such hatred on a day meant to celebrate love! I threw an eraser at one child. I escorted another out of the room BY HIS FACE. And I squeezed one boy's arm so hard as I was lecturing him he jerked out and started trynna FLEX on me.

{to "flex" means to bow up on, get aggressive with}

Don't worry. He's about 90 lbs. And has a gimp arm.

Him: WHY YOU TOUCHIN' ME!? Bruh, you betta get off me RIGHT NOW. You trippin. You ain't ABOUT to get in my face.

Me (instead of a professional, composed response): YOU'RE THE ONE ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR HEAD FROM YOUR ASS AND I'M TRIPPIN?? Oh no. Oh NO. Whose class are you in!?!? That's what I thought. So you "AIN'T ABOUT" to tell me what I "AIN'T ABOUT" to do in here. If you had been in here acting right, I wouldn't BE in your face or BE touching your arm. SO IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE IN YOUR FACE DISRESPECTING YOU, THEN DON'T DISRESPECT ME!!!!!!

What the what.

I think I'm so trill.

Somehow, in front of the classroom I transform from passive, even-tempered skinny white girl to...Madea or something. I need a glass of wine and some ibuprofen. 14 more Mondays and I'll be peelin' out of that parking lot so fast you'll break your neck trying to watch me leave. Imma throw them deuces up.

Before I leave you with that disheartening Valentine's post, I'll show you the card my autistic student made me. I'm not really sure what the poem means, but I'm feelin' it. You feel me?


In case you can't read it, it says:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I like to be with my teacher
the more than you
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2 comments:

  1. A fly on the wallFebruary 15, 2011 at 5:08 AM

    bahahahhaa!! I swear these posts are the highlight of my day! I love that you've gone Madea on us!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. GailFebruary 22, 2011 at 8:20 AM

    Deuce deuce hollaaaaaaaaaaa!

    ReplyDelete

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