WHOOPS. My B.

Jeffrey (yes fish sticks Jeffrey) won't stay in his seat in the morning. That's the thing with boys. They always wanna be UP and DOING SOMETHING. I like calm. I feel much more in control of the sitch if all my boys are seated. They could be rolling blunts at their desks and I'd still feel more at ease than I do when they bounce around the room to steal pencils.

I kid. Sort of.

I hate the half hour in the morning where the kids are in my classroom but class hasn't started yet because breakfast is still being served in the cafeteria. None of my boys go to breakfast, but I can't start until the bell has rung. Thus, 25 boys with unfathomable energy for that time of day are held captive in a room where they have no desire to be and nothing to do. Cool.

My blood pressure shoots through the roof before the bell has even rung due to the stress of getting them IN THEIR SEATS. This is what happens when they refuse to comply: I walk in and see Jeffrey (surprise surprise) standing sheepishly in a pile of glass shards AKA today's lab experiment. Annnnnnnnddd I've lost it. "Here we go..." Je'Corey says.

My B #1:

I call Jeffrey's dad after school and tell him how Jeffrey has been lazy ever since he got his arm out of his cast blah blah...still won't do his work, got in the habit of not writing since he was temporarily handicapped, blahblah....uses his classroom to do the OPPOSITE of what I say, doesn't follow directions, broke science equipment BLAH. Jeffrey's dad: "Thanks for calling, I'll definitely have a talk with him."

The next day, Jawon comes up to me third block. This is Jawon.

Yup, my little "GUCCI SWAG" DREADHEAD SHAWTY. I do love the dreads, must admit. But I hate how they shroud his face when it's plastered to his desk as he sleeps all through second block. He won't do much of anything in class except wander. He loves to wander toward the door and think of reasons to walk through it. I get irritated with him, but he's so good natured and goofy-smiley all the time, I can't not like him. Anyways, he approaches me with his usual grin. "You talk to my dad last night?"

"Nope."

"Yeah you did." Grin.

"Oh. Ok. What did I say?"

"I broke some science equipment?"

I clap my hand over my mouth. "Oh my goodness!! I forgot your real name was Jeffrey!! I must have put your dad's number in my phone at the beginning of the year! I called the wrong Jeffrey's dad!!"

Jeffrey shook his dreads back and forth. "Mann, Ms. M. You 'bout ruined my Christmas!"

"And your dad must think I'm crazy talking about your arm being in a cast!" I said.

"Well...it was in a cast like a long time ago. Like in fourth grade." (??)

"I'll call him back and tell him wrong Jeffrey. You've broken no science equipment--you'd actually have to be awake to do that!"

Jawon grins again. "Yeahhhh you can leave off dat last part!"

My B #2:

Get ready. This is bad.

Wednesdays are our staff meetings. We rotate bringing snacks by grade level. Yesterday afternoon, the thought crossed my mind that it might be 8th grade's turn, so I sent out a mass email to the entire 8th grade staff and administration:

Is it our turn for snacks tomorrow? I'm not really sure but I feel like we haven't done it in forever. GOOD THING IT'S PAYDAY!!

Went to the Teet (Sorry, non-Carolinians. That's my term for our major grocery store chain, Harris Teeter), bought some chips and salsa. Checked my school email hours later and found several replies:

Yes, it was our turn. Thanks for the reminder. What is everyone bringing? I'm bringing chips and salsa. I'm bringing chips and dip. I'm bringing chips. I'm bringing cookies. I'm bringing chips and dip what are you bringing?

I respond:

Whoops. Just now checking this, but I already went to the grocery store and I, too, brought Tostitos and salsa. Looks like we'll have CHIPS AND DIP ON DECK!!!

Well, that's what I meant to type. What I ACTUALLY sent:

Whoops. Just now checking this, but I already went to the grocery store and I, too, brought Tostitos and salsa. Looks like we'll have CHIPS AND DICK ON DECK!!!

I have nothing more to say for myself. The End.